#1 humor site on the 'net

Eat Horse

Proponents of the horse meat scandal

Eat Horse thanks to Carrie Wachsmann

Putting forth the option of alternative meat sources

QuotaBills
Whoa! A brake for horses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Trojan Horse: A phony pony - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! - William Shakespeare

Installment: Putting a horse in his stall - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown

Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride. - Scottish Proverb

Water Polo: What horses play in the swimming pool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

When I'm president, everyone gets a free pony. - Vermin Supreme

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

Don't change horses in the middle of the stream. - Dutch Proverb

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

It is not best to swap horses while crossing the river. - Abraham Lincoln

An orator without judgment is a horse without a bridle. - Theophrastus

Centaur: A man with a horse where his pants ought to be - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Absent-Mindedness: Searching for the horse you are riding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown

A statement once let loose cannot be caught by four horses. - Japanese proverb

Horsepower: A power which has put the horse out of business - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wiener: The first to cross the line in a Mexican horse race - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K

You can not lead a battle if you think you look silly on a horse. - Napoleon Bonaparte

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

Men are not hanged for stealing horses, but that horses may not be stolen. - George Savile

Unicorn: 1. A single blemish on the foot; 2. A horse with a point of view. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

Dude Ranch: Where a guy who is rich enough to drive a Cadillac rides a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on. - Robert Frost

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Sherbet: 1. A horse that can't lose; 2. A tip on a horse race or sporting event. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

Equine Influenza: A viral respiratory disease which causes flu-like symptoms in horses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character. - Tesio

And God took a handful of southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. - Bedouin Legend

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order. - John Adams

Good Secretary: A stenographer who must think like a man, act like a lady, and work like a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

You can't dance at two weddings at the same time; nor can you sit on two horses with one behind. - Yiddish Proverb

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Curriculum: A harness devised by educational bureaucrats to turn thoroughbred teachers into cart horses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses. - Victor Hugo

Melody is the essence of music. I compare a good melodist to a fine racer, and counterpoints to hack post-horses. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses. - Dale Carnegie

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

Horse: 1. An oatsmobile; 2. An animal that cannot say yes, only neigh; 3. An animal that goes to bed with its shoes on. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers

We will never have to tell our horse that we are sad, happy, confident, angry or relaxed. He already knows - long before we do. - Marjike de Jong

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


People Of The River

SUV Sinkhole

Hope

Blonde's 710 Cover

Dragon Playground

Redneck Boat Ramp

Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?

Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy

Air Couch

Europe Road Trip

Thongthing Special

Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break