#1 humor site on the 'net

Flatskatchewan Winter Sunrise

Morning dawns in the Canadian Prairies

Flatskatchewan Winter Sunrise thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Canadian artist Ian McGregor's artwork

QuotaBills
Could you patent the sun? - Jonas Salk

Every mile is two in winter. - George Herbert

Canada was built on dead beavers. - Margaret Atwood

Canada and space are a natural fit. - Marc Garneau

I look at Canada like a second home. - Prince Andrew

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

Early in the morning when the crows cock. - Archie Bunker

Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not. - Ursula K. Le Guin

From the prairies, to the oceans, wide with foam - Archie Bunker

The groundhog said six more weeks of winter so I ate him. - Wile E. Coyote

For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move. - Phyllis Diller

A false friend and a shadow attend only while the sun shines. - Benjamin Franklin

When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with. - WC Fields

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

I've only been to these foreign countries: Canada, L.A. and Miami. - Larry the Cable Guy

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

A sunset is nothing more and nothing less than the backside of a sunrise. - Craig D. Lounsbrough

A man hath no better thing under the sun than to eat, drink, and be merry. - Ecclesiastes 8:15

Something in the air this morning made me feel like flying... Spring Flight - Eileen Granfors

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

And all we feared inside the night / shows true in morning's biased light. - Garth von Buchholz

When you think of hockey, when you think of Canada, you think of Wayne Gretzky. - Joe Sakic

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

I came from Canada, where it's freezing cold for seven months out of the year. - Rachelle Lefevre

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

My future starts when I wake up every morning. Every day I find something creative to do with my life. - Miles Davis

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

The nice thing about being detained in Canada is it's like being in a Days Inn; it's very clean and very nice. - Bill Ayers

You're the guy that'll be sneaking out of your bedroom at three o'clock in the morning to look at your bike. - Paul Teutul

If you get up in the morning and you say, 'I got to go to work. How can I get out of this?' you're not happy. - Red Auerbach

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love. - William Shakespeare

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Does Your Hedgehog Bite?

Lazy Line Painters

Vegan Brownies

From Start To Finish

Milkshake Diet

Hand Speech

Software Cake

Bland Entrance

Preikestolen Pulpit Rock

Redneck Firemen

Side Rail

Icy Grip Of Winter

Brace For The Resolutioners

Shining Armor Knight

Icicle Drinks

Incontinent Pool

Handstand Snowman

Woke Up Early

Sincere Compliment

Snow Storage

Redneck Winter Spa

HoverCraft

Associate Demonstration