#1 humor site on the 'net

Gin and Tonic Diet

The liquid diet plan, where you don't remember what you lost

Gin and Tonic Diet thanks to Howard Chapman

Losing weight can cost a British person several pounds

QuotaBills
Fat: Energy gone to waist - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is too short to be on a diet. - Taylor J Reid

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy. - Groucho Marx

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

The fountain of youth is a mixture of gin and vermouth. - Cole Porter

Leave off all thin potations and addict thyself to sack. - William Shakespeare

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! - Demetri Martin

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

People with healthy self-esteem do not need to create pretend identities. - Unknown

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead. - James Thurber

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. - Casablanca

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60. - Jack Nicholson

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the God and weight of her world. - John Mayer

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat. - Becca Fitzpatrick

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Bike Storage

Playground Child Eliminator

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Sidecar

Glass World - Where Plumbers Buy

Three Wise Women

Wrench Dinosaur

One More Drop

Idling Eric Idle

High Heel Diver

Rising To The Occasion

Annual Meeting of the Ontario Summer Tires Club

I See You

Get Off Your High Horse

Redneck Towing

Revenge of the Stallion

Rat Cut

Spot the Hidden Barred Owl

Smoking Hot Body

Billy the Eagle Owl

Star Wars Fisherman

The Devil's Swimming Pool

Pet Dentist

Nuts And Fruitcakes