#1 humor site on the 'net

Gin and Tonic Diet

The liquid diet plan, where you don't remember what you lost

Gin and Tonic Diet thanks to Howard Chapman

Losing weight can cost a British person several pounds

QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy. - Groucho Marx

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have. - Winston Churchill

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other. - Unknown

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently very unhealthy for those closest to you. - Mr Spock

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

Desire is the key to motivation. It is the key to develop a healthy personality and a positive attitude towards oneself and others. - Amit Abraham

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Maintaining healthy forests is essential to those who make a living from the land and for those of us who use them for recreational purposes. - Cathy M. Rodgers


My New Diet

We Is Closed

Cheap Child Support

Ankle Warning

Peanut Sale

Beer Chess

Astronomy Perspective

Wolf Chase

Coffee Caricature

The Working Man

North of Somewhere

Salmon Bikini

Mexican Phys Ed Classes

Parasite Trivia

Plug Puller

Steamworks Bathroom

Another Repost

Pipeline Protesters

Bread Gloves

Winterpeg Warm

Pen Sale Not

Soda Bottle Boat

Raccoon Rock

Cement Truck Lane