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Golf Break

Golf lessons at home

Golf Break thanks to Gus Souza

Next best thing to cow pasture pool

It's important to remain active in retirement
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Golf is a good walk spoiled. - H.S. Scrivener

Absentee: A missing golfing peg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Good Sportsmanship: Not picking up lost golf balls while they are still rolling - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden


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