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Golf Break

Golf lessons at home

Golf Break thanks to Gus Souza

Next best thing to cow pasture pool

It's important to remain active in retirement
QuotaBills
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

All is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb

Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump


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