Gone To The Dogs

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. - Maxwell Maltz

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

It's much easier to double your business by doubling your conversion rate than doubling your traffic. - Bryan Eisenberg

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Moms are as relentless as the tides. They don't just drive us to practice, they drive us to greatness. - Steve Rushin

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

Eden is that old-fashioned house
We dwell in every day
Without suspecting our abode
Until we drive away. - Emily Dickinson

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

Good business leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision, and relentlessly drive it to completion. - Jack Welch

For me, the drive is storytelling. To be a part of an art that tells a story and to be a catalyst, a color in that, is very exciting. - Alden Ehrenreich

Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders. - Sloan Wilson

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Approach racing like a game of billiards. If you bash the ball too hard, you get nowhere. As you handle the cue properly, you drive with more finesse. - Juan M Fangio