Gone To The Dogs

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? - George Carlin

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win. - Roger Bannister

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Education makes a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern but impossible to enslave. - Henry Brougham

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash

Religions, which condemn the pleasures of sense, drive men to seek the pleasures of power. Throughout history power has been the vice of the ascetic. - Bertrand Russell