#1 humor site on the 'net

Historic Texting

Re-invented moments in history

Historic Texting thanks to Keith Blake

4 calls and 7 texts ago ...

QuotaBills
Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

What is history but a fable agreed upon? - Napoleon Bonaparte

Peace is preferable to a place in history. - Justo P Benitez

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

That great dust-heap called 'history'. - Augustine Birrell

Live out of your imagination, not your history. - Stephen R. Covey

There is no record in history of a happy philosopher. - H L Mencken

If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur! - Unknown

History is a vision of God's creation on the move. - Arnold J. Toynbee

We learn from history that we do not learn from history. - Georg W F Hegel

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm just the smallest dot in a big map of human history. - Ben Casnocha

Study history. In history lies all the secrets of statecraft. - Winston Churchill

A people without history is like the wind on the buffalo grass. - Lakota Sioux Proverb

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

In life you have to rely on the past, and that's called history. - Donald Trump

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

History is not a burden on the memory but an illumination of the soul. - Lord Acton

Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown

The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary. - Arthur Schopenhauer

More history is made by secret handshakes than by battles, bills, and proclamations. - John Barth

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

The world has entered an era of the most profound and challenging change in human history. - Stephen Covey

I want flowers, I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I? - Jennifer Garner

I work with gold that holds history, diamonds that see the future, and rubies that long for love. - Waris Ahluwalia

There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good. - Stephen Colbert

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

A convention is a splendid place to study human nature. Man in a crowd is quite a different creature than man acting alone. - William Jennings Bryan

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry

Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

He's ... probably the greatest corporate leader in the history of a major company... Somebody like that would be absolutely incredible. - Donald Trump

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? - Stephen Levine

I was named the Class Clown in the high school yearbook, so I was always turning to comedy and laughter to heal and to get me through things. - Guillermo Diaz

History has repeatedly been changed by people who had the desire and the ability to transfer their convictions and emotions to their listeners. - Dale Carnegie

Peaceful transfer of authority is rare in history, yet common in our country with a simple oath, we affirm old traditions, and make new beginnings. - George W. Bush


Keyboard Seating

Bent Over

Whatchamacallit Car

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Gone To Market

Peak Bernie

Female IT Experts

Obi-Juan Kenobi

Fuse ReplaceMeant

Student Food Strainer

IBITE

Slide-n-Freeze

Lizard Guitar

Electricity Storage

How To Sharpen Pencils

Chevforodge

Free Stuff

Baby Bird Chorus

Hang On

Home Depot Delivery

Sea Painting

Radish Camouflage

Canadian Twins

Big Birth - They Start Off Big At This Hospital