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Holiday Office

Enjoying a cheap Staycation at home - especially popular in 2020

Holiday Office thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Do you often dream about going on a beach vacation?

How to intuitively plan your next vacation holiday where beach property is a must

QuotaBills
I surf to get tan. - Shane Dorian

Just keep swimming. - Finding Nemo

Beach Erosion: A case of bad tidings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Suntan: A pigment of your imagination. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Write injuries in sand, kindness in marble. - French Proverb

Quicksand: Beach where motor races are held - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ampersand: Sand you won't find at a beach - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester

Valentine's Day is the poet's holiday. - Ted Kooser

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

Water Polo: What horses play in the swimming pool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Pencil: A tiny tree used to draw a line in the sand - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in. - Phyllis Diller

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

What a morning - fresh as if issued to children on a beach. - Virginia Woolf

Lines of gulls standing on glassy blue patches of wet sand. - Cathleen Schine

Unemployment insurance is a pre-paid vacation for freeloaders. - Ronald Reagan

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one. - Elbert Hubbard

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

She's a skeleton in the sand right now. She comes and she goes. - Annalies Corbin

If Autocorrect was a person I would never go on a vacation with it. - Paula Pell

Middle age is when, wherever you go on holiday, you pack a sweater. - Denis Norden

Dear Monday, you should take a holiday. Trust me, no one will miss you. - Unknown

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone. - Arab Proverb

That's the best part of going away for a vacation - coming home again. - Madeleine L'Engle

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation. - Unknown

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand, but we must build as if the sand were stone. - Jorge Luis Borges

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. - Albert Einstein

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, you ought to set up a life you don't need to escape from. - Seth Godin

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

Love is hard work. It is the hardest work I know of, work from which you are never entitled to take a vacation. - Ravi Zacharias

It would be a terrific innovation if you could get your mind to stretch a little further tan the next wisecrack. - Katharine Hepburn

Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are. - David Letterman

I was the equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would throw copies of Byron in my face! - Robin Williams

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A mere 40 years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that's what freedom is all about. - Newt Gingrich

The great outdoors is a theme with me; a walking holiday in Scotland is perfect - Culloden and the forests of Aviemore are both favourites. - Erin O'Connor

Clay. It's rain, dead leaves, dust, all my dead ancestors. Stones that have been ground into sand. Mud. The whole cycle of life and death. - Martine Vermeulen

Today was about chasing sun-rays, beach waves, and sunsets. All things beautiful that give you peace are worth chasing. Everything else isn't. - April M. Monterrosa

Summer is a drag because even normal people become obsessed with their bodies. A bad bathing suit can humiliate you more tan anything else in life. - Conan O'Brien

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


Lunch Break

Digging One's Own Grave

See The Difference?

Gas and Dash

OctoMask

Bird on a Wire (past tense)

Workplace Hazards in Tasmania

Tiger On A Roll

Men's Golf Rules

Where Did He Go?

Sudden Invented Syndrome

Calculus Drinks

Lights, Camera, Overreaction

Rebar Walker

Leading The Way

Melted Dog

Painful Ballet

Welder's Last Stand

My Life Goal

1-800-PILLCASH

Ghetto Boat

Hungry Hiker Tree

Redneck Roof

My Last Swim In The Ocean