#1 humor site on the 'net

I Do What I Want

On the cutting edge of unique decisions

I Do What I Want thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Going against the general trend

QuotaBills
Let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Some people are so much sunshine to the square inch. - Walt Whitman

Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square. - Unknown

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

Because the sweeter the cake, the more bitter the jelly can be. - Lady Gaga

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

Our first stop was red square, the heart of Moscow - if Moscow has one. - Bob Hope

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


Window Sundial

Helping Hands

Short On Electricity

Amish Friends

Spiral Roots

Tree Sorrow

Domino Crossing

Family Reunion

Roll Me Over

Hockey PlayHers

Concealed Weapon

Lettuce Face

Devoted Husband

Dental Car

Donut Seeds

Pill Man

Bus Wait Weight

It Should Start

Hi, My Name's Cliff - Drop Over Some Time!

Sparks Recycling

Last Gasp Request

Flower Shop For Men

Canadian Archaeology

Tank Top Security