#1 humor site on the 'net

I Like Cooking

How to save lives by using commas

I Like Cooking thanks to Shawn Kennedy

I Like Cooking thanks to Shawn Kennedy

QuotaBills
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Speech is of time; silence is of eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Francis Bacon

I am the Roman Emperor and am above grammar. - Emperor Sigismund

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. - Gore Vidal

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

He respects Owl, because you can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right. - A. A. Milne

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Computer SuperUser - a.k.a. 'Root' Hacker

Russian BiteLifter

Paper Jam or Mouse Jam?

Snow Roller

Canadian Tough

Canadian Polo

Just Checking

Pocket Book

Just Checking

The 'New' Economy

Metro Support

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Punk Fiat

a real Bald Eagle

Roo With No Respect

Cheap Birthday Card

Hug Me

A Shark Ate My Homework

Victorian Bathing Machine

Winter in Wyoming

He Looks Just Like His Father!

Key Frame

Jet Propelled Eagle

Frisbee Dog