Air Force General: "Mr. President, we've just invented an invisibility cloak for Air Force One."
Biden: "No Way?"
General: "That's right, Sir. The plane will be invisible. Will you be going along on its maiden flight?"
Biden: "Wouldn't miss it for the world."
General: "Have a good trip, Sir."
QuotaBillsAll politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers
Good government is good politics. - Richard J. Daley
The only victory over love is flight. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Television is democracy at its ugliest. - Paddy Chayefsky
Feudalism: It's your Count that votes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
An educated people can be easily governed. - Frederick II
In a democracy, dissent is an act of faith. - J. William Fulbright
A penny saved is a Congressional oversight. - Hal Luyah
You campaign in poetry; you govern in prose. - Mario Cuomo
Democracy breeds the germs of its own destruction. - V I Lenin
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller
The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. - George Jean Nathan
A diplomat is a man who thinks twice before he says nothing. - Unknown
A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel
We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain
Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. - Charles de Gaulle
Democracy! Bah! When I hear that word I reach for my feather Boa. - Allen Ginsberg
The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don't vote. - William E. Simon
Idealism is the despot of thought, just as politics is the despot of will. - Mikhail Bakunin
Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell
If I wished to punish a province, I would have it governed by philosophers. - Frederick The Great
The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers
The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White
American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn
Democracy is also a form of religion; it is the worship of jackals by jackasses. - H L Mencken
My sheer existence is like a political act to a lot of people. It's not to me. - Grimes
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw
Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini
The trouble with free elections is that you never know how they are going to turn out. - Vyacheslav Molotov
Ideas are great arrows, but there has to be a bow. And politics is the bow of idealism. - Bill Moyers
I learned a long time ago in Hollywood that the only person I should vote for is myself. - Jack Nicholson
We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann
Flight Risk: Employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost
Passover affirms the great truth that liberty is the inalienable right of every human being. - Morris Joseph
Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw
I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing. - H L Mencken
It's our experience that political leaders don't always mean the opposite of what they say. - Abba Eban
The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan
The man who can make others laugh secures more votes for a measure than the man who forces them to think. - Malcolm de Chazal
Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers
Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat
Politics: Poli, a Latin word meaning "many"; and tics, meaning "bloodsucking creatures." - Robin Williams
There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro
The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning. - Theodor Adorno
One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato
Harold MacMillan is a very intelligent man, who, as so often happens in politics, achieved supreme power too late. - Malcolm Muggeridge
I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin
He is one of those wise philanthropists who, in a time of famine, would vote for nothing but a supply of toothpicks. - Douglas Jerrold
One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas
It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads. - Andy Borowitz
We study the glory of God, and the honour and liberty of parliament, for which we fight, without seeking our own interests. - Oliver Cromwell
It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald
In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer
When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill
The greater a man is in power above others, the more he ought to excel them in virtue. None ought to govern who is not better than the governed. - Publilius Syrus
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien