#1 humor site on the 'net

iPad Not

Almost getting a real present

iPad Not thanks to Barry McCartney

The reward of exchanging an eye for an i

QuotaBills
Defect-free software does not exist. - Wietse Venema

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

We don't need nukes. We have the internet. - Alice Minium

I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore

Real Soon Now: When the software will be shipped - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

People will believe anything they read on the internet. - Abraham Lincoln

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet. - Will Ferrell

Iconomic: Making do with fewer icons on your computer desktop - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

For business, our Internet love affair was a gift from the gods. - Gary Vaynerchuk

The internet turns 30 minutes of homework into 2 hours of homework. - Unknown

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar

On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the 'escape' key. - Unknown

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Internet: The best library in the world, but with all its books strewn across the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Feature Creep: 1. The bloating of software with too many features; 2. A nasty software developer. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

Just as we could have rode into the sunset, along came the Internet, and it tripled the significance of the PC. - Andy Grove

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

People enjoy the interaction on the internet, and the feeling of belonging to a group that does something interesting. - Linus Torvalds

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

The day I made that statement, about inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the camcorder. - Al Gore

The majority of people who don't have Internet don't have the Internet because they don't know why they want to use the Internet. - Mark Zuckerberg

Cell phones, mobile e-mail, and all the other cool and slick gadgets can cause massive losses in our creative output and overall productivity. - Robin S Sharma

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


Fox Kabob

Microwaved Bulb... Watts You Won't See

Saks-e Parking Job

Griller Bees

Texting While Cycling

Redneck Manicure

Police Profiling In Canada

Tree Stand

No Worries

Hospital Gown Insurance

Facebook Red Light

Redneck Speed Bump

Scientific Driving Test

House 'Broke'rage

Trampoline Apartment

Behind Every Man

SailBite Ride - Swimming Not Advised

Aisle Cleanup

His Dent

Car Surgeon

Slamming On Your Brakes

Need A Cigarette?

CardboardZilla

Weather Rock - For Accurate Forecasts