#1 humor site on the 'net

It's A Boy!

Sending a personalized birth announcement

It's A Boy! thanks to Keith Blake

How to open up baby's announcement card

QuotaBills
Ignore the boy, Lord. - Homer Simpson

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell

When I grow up, I want to be a little boy. - Joseph Heller

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

A man who lives long enough will be a boy twice. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

It's one of the great urban myths that people get pregnant in order to have children. - Menzies Campbell

See how the boy is with his sister and you can know how the man will be with your daughter. - Sioux Proverb

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood. - Groucho Marx

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

When you reach the stars, boy, yes, and live there forever, all the fears will go, and Death himself will die. - Ray Bradbury

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

Somewhere beyond the sink-hole, past the magnolia, under the live oaks, a boy and a yearling ran side by side, and were gone forever. - Marjorie K. Rawlings

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen


Plane Oops!

The Wheels of Life

Nerd Shaving

Beethoven's Teacher

Coke's Special Ingredients

Weather Warning

Freedom At Last

Ebola Can Be Eaten

Open Face Sandwich

Busted Politician

Balanced Diet

African Wheelbarrow

Drain Swimmer

Just In Thyme

Tie Wrap Bumper

Mexican Salad Dressing

Leaning Bookshelves

Shrunk Jeep

Quarantine Garden

Casualty Way

Painfull Skydive

You Are Grounded

Discrimination

Mountain Flock