#1 humor site on the 'net

It's A Boy!

Sending a personalized birth announcement

It's A Boy! thanks to Keith Blake

How to open up baby's announcement card

QuotaBills
Ignore the boy, Lord. - Homer Simpson

When I grow up, I want to be a little boy. - Joseph Heller

When a boy's coming into poobertyhood. - Archie Bunker

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

Every boy has more talent than he will ever develop. - Unknown

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable. - Plato

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

It's one of the great urban myths that people get pregnant in order to have children. - Menzies Campbell

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood. - Groucho Marx

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

When you reach the stars, boy, yes, and live there forever, all the fears will go, and Death himself will die. - Ray Bradbury

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy - in a jar on my desk. - Stephen King

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader


Ship Shipping Ships

Seal Survival

The Power Of Faith

Jesus Was Here

Palm Sunday Social Distancing Service

Pine Trees Know When It's Easter

Beware Of Who Is Watching Over Your Church

Handicap Ramp

Kick Out Boxing

Patience and Wisdom

Submarine Racing

Dead Sea Burgers

Sick Statue

I Will Never Understand Fashion

Courtesy Option

Ab Enhancer

Family Planning Advice

Cracks Me Up

Anger Release Machine

Closing Time

Beach Breakfast

Bicycle Dining

Shark Bike

Thrilling Read