Kenwood Chef

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Malaria: Several shopping centers close to each other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

I always had a fantasy of being a chef, because I like kitchen life. - Geoffrey Rush

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

When a man retires his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon