Kenwood Chef

Shopping is my cardio. - Carrie Bradshaw

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth. - Dutch Proverb

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

I always had a fantasy of being a chef, because I like kitchen life. - Geoffrey Rush

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon