Kenwood Chef

Whisker: A chef who beats eggs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Seek a wife in your own sphere. - Latin Proverb

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth. - Dutch Proverb

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

I always had a fantasy of being a chef, because I like kitchen life. - Geoffrey Rush

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me. - Howard Nemerov

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife), but still my own. - Si Robertson

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta