Kids Meal

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

A crude meal, no doubt, but the best of all sauces is hunger. - Edward Abbey

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal. - William S. Burroughs

Jackpot: When all the kids stay at friends' homes for the night - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

The rich take life one financial year at a time. The poor take life one meal at a time. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana

People want honest, flavourful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare. - Ted Allen

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. - Groucho Marx

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

The sun looks down on nothing half so good as a household laughing together over a meal. - C S Lewis

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah