#1 humor site on the 'net

Kinder Surprise

Preparing an artistic environment for baby 'boomers'

Kinder Surprise thanks to Wayne Nowazek

I think I'll name my baby Art

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

A child's first teacher is its mother. - Peng Liyuan

Bison: What you say when your child leaves for school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. - George Santayana

For when a child is born the mother also is born again. - Gilbert Parker

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Kidnapping: The short snatches of rest a parent gets when baby sleeps - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Creative play is like a spring that bubbles up from deep within a child. - Joan Almon

There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. - English Proverb

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth. - African Proverb

Vasectomy: 1. Never having to say you're sorry; 2. Spoil the rod. Spare the child. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. - Walt Streightiff

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

It's one of the great urban myths that people get pregnant in order to have children. - Menzies Campbell

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

Judging a child taking his first steps for not being able to run a marathon is shortsighted. - Tyler Winklevoss

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring. - Liz Armbruster

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

A library should be the delivery room for the birth of ideas - a place where history comes to life. - Norman Cousins

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun. - Jane Goodall

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The vivacity of children is always charming, because it is always sincere. A grave child is a rose without fragrance. - Unknown

Every time a child says, "I don't believe in fairies," there is a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead. - Sir James M. Barrie

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

Grandparent: 1. One who knows that spanking is unnecessary; 2. The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Forgiveness is that subtle thread that binds both love and friendship. Without forgiveness, you may not even have a child one day. - George Foreman

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds


Open Drive Through

Secret Revealed

Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing

Overflow Truck Garden

Beach Sign Training

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox

Pre-Dinner Photography

Curses, Foiled Again

Ant Virus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Bird's Eye View

Sea Girl