Lard Family

Why limit Happy to just one hour? - Unknown

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Rule No. 1 of life. Do what makes YOU happy. - Unknown

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. - Oscar Wilde

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw

How much money does it take to make a man happy? Just one more dollar. - John D. Rockefeller

You can never get enough of what you don't need to make you happy. - Eric Hoffer

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy. - Cynthia Nelms

Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

Sometimes I found that in my happy moments I could not believe that I had ever been miserable. - Joanna Field

I look at what I have not and think myself unhappy; others look at what I have and think me happy. - Unknown

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

The really happy person is the one who can enjoy the scenery, even when they have to take a detour. - James H. Jeans

Just do your best today and tomorrow will come - tomorrow's going to be a busy day, a happy day. - Helen Boehm

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley

Happy the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying, once and for all. - Ovid

I don't think he's gonna come Edith. He just ain't got none of that, waddya call, family unconscious. - Archie Bunker

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

A happy life must be to a great extent a quiet life, for it is only in an atmosphere of quiet that true joy dare live. - Bertrand Russell

What would you be like if you were the only person in the world? If you want to be truly happy you must be that person. - Quentin Crisp

The family, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor in our innermost hearts never quite wish to. - Dodie Smith

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt