Life's Choices

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

Our lives are a sum total of the choices we have made. - Wayne Dyer

A man can't be to careful in his choice of enemies. - Oscar Wilde

The choice you make today will usually affect tomorrow. - Unknown

Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck. - Marian Erickson

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response. - Mildred Barthel

If you choose not to decide, you've still made a choice. - Unknown

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with him. - Jim Elliot

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

You can figure out what the villain fears by his choice of weapons. - Connie Brockway

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

We have every right to make choices, but no right to choose the consequences. - Anne G. Lotz

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

The history of free men is never really written by chance but by choice; their choice! - Dwight D Eisenhower

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

Hard men present hard choices - none more so than Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia. - Hillary Clinton

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Your attitude can take you forward or your attitude can take you down. The choice is always yours. - Catherine Pulsifier

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them. - Denis Waitley

Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that's the one that is going to require the most from you. - Caroline Myss

When you wake up in the morning, you have two choices: go back to sleep and dream your dreams, or wake up and chase those dreams. - Unknown

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster