#1 humor site on the 'net

Lifting a Cruise Ship

Raising the bar on a cruise ship vacation

Lifting a Cruise Ship thanks to Carl Gung

Geoff became a bodybuilder on Celebrity Cruise Ships

QuotaBills
A pigment of your imagination - Archie Bunker

I'm in no shape to exercise. - Unknown

Imagination is the eye of the soul. - Joseph Joubert

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Imagination is more important than knowledge. - Albert Einstein

My single-minded aim is to give existence to fantasy. - Claes Oldenburg

The possible's slow fuse is lit by the imagination. - Emily Dickinson

The heart of an Irishman is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw

The imagination is the secret and marrow of civilization. - Henry Ward Beecher

There are certain things you just don't do in fantasy. - J K Rowling

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Day and night, their frail and crippled ships defy the tempest. - Jorge Luis Borges

The success that the Tolkien books had redefined modern fantasy. - George R.R. Martin

I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. - Louisa May Alcott

The imagination imitates. It is the critical spirit that creates. - Oscar Wilde

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. - John Shedd

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

After the ship has sunk, a consultant knows how it might have been saved. - Newt Hielscher

Design is about discipline and reality, not about fantasy beyond reality. - Albert Hadley

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder - a waif, a nothing, a no man. - Thomas Carlyle

The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge. - Albert Einstein

Closed in a room, my imagination becomes the universe, and the rest of the world is missing out. - Criss Jami

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

The mathematician is entirely free, within the limits of the imagination, to construct what worlds he pleases. - J.W.N. Sullivan

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Oh my. Space travel sounds rather perilous. I can assure you they will never get me on one of those dreadful Star Ships. - C-3PO

Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning. - Gloria Steinem

One supreme fact which I have discovered is that it is not willpower but imagination that creates. Imagination creates reality. - Richard Wagner

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

Running! If there's any activity happier, more exhilarating, more nourishing to the imagination, I can't imagine what it might be. - Joyce Carol Oates

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Car Wrecker

Redneck Faucet

Feather Cleaning

Ice Hockey Meltdown

Tough Love

Easter Island

Flood Bridge

Don't Count On It

Upended Water Buffalo

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Face Heater

Leap Year Shirt

World's Greatest Typo

Icehenge

Found It!

Puma Pants

Polar Bear Attack

Foot Sign Language

Winter Tires

Hooters Face Mask

Latte Art

Whiskey Toothpaste

Titanic's Non-Romantic Scene

Fake News