#1 humor site on the 'net

Lifting a Cruise Ship

Raising the bar on a cruise ship vacation

Lifting a Cruise Ship thanks to Carl Gung

Geoff became a bodybuilder on Celebrity Cruise Ships

QuotaBills
Everyone needs a fantasy. - Andy Warhol

Imagination means nothing without doing. - Charlie Chaplin

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

Happiness is equilibrium. Shift your weight. - Tom Stoppard

Live out of your imagination, not your history. - Stephen Covey

The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. - Unknown

I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell. - Alec Yuill-Thornton

Tell the men to fire faster and not give up the ship. - Captain James Lawrence

There are certain things you just don't do in fantasy. - J K Rowling

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

I'm capable of anything, my imagination can give me wings. - Nas

A good goal is like a strenuous exercise - it makes you stretch. - Mary Kay Ash

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

I have a feeling that when my ship comes in I'll be at the airport. - Charles Schulz

After the ship has sunk, a consultant knows how it might have been saved. - Newt Hielscher

Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? - Bill Murray

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Neither should a ship rely on one small anchor, nor should life rest on a single hope. - Epictetus

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

No one would have ever crossed the ocean if they could have gotten off the ship in the storm. - Charles F. Ketterling

Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape. - Terry Pratchett

You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up. - Bob Hope

Closed in a room, my imagination becomes the universe, and the rest of the world is missing out. - Criss Jami

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

What your mind sees when you close your eyes marks the entrance to an endless universe: your imagination. - Stephen Helmes

Fatalism is the creed of a will that is dying to its possibilities and seeks to drag the imagination with it. - Ravi Zacharias

I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power. - Arthur C. Clarke

May you keep dreaming until the day you die. May imagination overtake memory. May you die young at a ripe old age. - Mark Batterson

I exercise at least five times a week with stretching, Pilates, push-ups, planks, sit-ups, squats and light weights. - Reba McEntire

I'm always astonished by a forest. It makes me realise that the fantasy of nature is much larger than my own fantasy. - Gunter Grass

Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh? - Carol Burnett

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

Every person on this earth is full of great possibilities that can be realized through imagination, effort, and perseverance. - Scott B Kaufman

My imagination persisted in sticking horrors into the dark- so I stuck my imagination into the dark instead, and let it look out at me. - F Scott Fitzgerald

To win back my youth... There is nothing I wouldn't do - except take exercise, get up early, or be a useful member of the community. - Oscar Wilde

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins


Extreme Skateboarding

Dentist Drill

Rabbit Boost

Potting Pot

Devil's Food Rose Cake

Computer Memory Family

Tearable Puns

Baby Hatching

Free Paper

Welcome to New Zealand

Squeegee Clothing

Stay!

Ice Bird

Black Plague II

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Perfectly In Tune With Nature

Lawn Time Awakening

Flatulent Cow

Attention Span

Redneck Cat Found

Flat Tire Repair

College in a Nutshell

Big Bird Feeder

Fast Escape