#1 humor site on the 'net

Lightbulb Apprentice

How to install energy efficient lighting

Lightbulb Apprentice thanks to Mike King

Electrical apprentice job training reaches new heights

QuotaBills
Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Apprentice 4 is the best by far, the best show we've done. - Donald Trump

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

Creative minds have been known to survive any sort of bad training. - Anna Freud

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

Skateboarding is training, but I don't think of it as training. It's fun. - Shaun White

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

Supporting myself at an early age was the best training for life I could have possibly received. - Lea Thompson

For the first time, I hand-picked an 'Apprentice' cast, and I'm thrilled with the results. - Donald Trump

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

We have to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that it is talent and training, not color, that makes a ballet dancer. - Arthur Mitchell

All of the women on 'The Apprentice' flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected. - Donald Trump

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

I hated every minute of training, but I said, "Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion." - Muhammad Ali

When you win the World Series, like we did with The Apprentice, you don't make too many changes. The big change is always the cast. - Donald Trump

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown


Bicycle Dining

Shark Bike

Thrilling Read

Extra Weight

Yoga's Balanced Lifestyle

Gift Shop for Stray Kids

Souped Up Car

Darth VadeHer

Submergible

Happy People

Today's Paper Read Yesterday

Someone Is Upset

Texas Diet

Moose Crossing

Lost Meal

Plane Oops!

The Wheels of Life

Nerd Shaving

Beethoven's Teacher

Coke's Special Ingredients

Weather Warning

Freedom At Last

Ebola Can Be Eaten

Open Face Sandwich