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Mad Mother Sale

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Mad Mother Sale thanks to Wayne Nowazek

For times when the son forgets to use his brain

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Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Fearlessness is the mother of reinvention. - Arianna Huffington

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

An ounce of mother is worth a tone of priest. - Spanish Proverb

The phrase working mother is redundant. - Jane Sellman

Mother's Life: One darned stocking after the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you. - Jay Leno

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. - Jay Leno

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

She's descended from a long line her mother listened to. - Gypsy Rose Lee

Mother is the home we come from. She is nature, soil, ocean. - Erich Fromm

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's. - Princess Diana

Blaming mother is just a negative way of clinging to her still. - Nancy Friday

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

Modern Mother: One who worries if her daughter gets in too early - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire. - Charles Bukowski

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother. - Beverly Jones

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. - Mark Twain

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle. - Phyllis Diller

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

My mom told me a long time ago, 'Never get in a fight with a lady.' - Oliver North

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy C Fisher

Grandmother, as she gets older, is not fading, but becoming more concentrated. - Paulette Alden

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

If you can't be in awe of Mother Nature, there's something wrong with you. - Alex Trebek

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb

My nickname is 'Mom', but my full name is 'Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom.' - Unknown

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

A grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend. - Unknown

My perspective on my mother has changed immensely. She was a lot taller when I was younger. - Howie Mandel

When you are looking at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know. - Charley Benetto

Man is certainly stark mad. He cannot make a worm, and yet he will be making gods by dozens. - Montaigne

My mom always said, "Don't say if I make it", say, "When I make it!" - Mariah Carey

Modern Pioneer: The mother who manages to get through a rainy Saturday with the T.V. not working - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett

My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future. - Liza Minnelli

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

To be successful you have to be lucky, or a little mad, or very talented, or find yourself in a rapid growth field. - Edward de Bono

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months. - Phyllis Diller

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

So long as the mother, ignorance, lives, it is not safe for science, the offspring, to divulge the hidden cause of things. - Johannes Kepler

By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart. - Phillip Moffitt

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look 'like a tramp' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Or maybe spring is the season of love and fall the season of mad lust. Spring for flirting but fall for the untamed delicious wild thing. - Elizabeth Cohen

My mother was a reader, and she read to us. She read us Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when I was six and my brother was eight. I never forgot it. - Stephen King

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


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