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Mad Mother Sale

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Mad Mother Sale thanks to Wayne Nowazek

For times when the son forgets to use his brain

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Men are mad things. - William Shakespeare

We are all born mad. Some remain so. - Samuel Beckett

Leisure is the Mother of Philosophy. - Thomas Hobbes

In a mad world only the mad are sane. - Akira Kurosawa

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller

Fearlessness is the mother of reinvention. - Arianna Huffington

Necessity is the mother of taking chances. - Mark Twain

Getting caught is the mother of invention. - Robert Byrne

I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested. - Unknown

You trust your mother, but you cut the cards. - Unknown

The phrase working mother is redundant. - Jane Sellman

Necessity, who is the mother of our invention. - Plato

The best place to cry is on a mother's arms. - Jodi Picoult

If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad. - Lord Byron

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

Better mad with the rest of the world than wise alone. - Baltasar Gracian

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. - Jay Leno

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

Blaming mother is just a negative way of clinging to her still. - Nancy Friday

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. - Unknown

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

No one else, ever, will think you're great the way your mother does. - Mary Matalin

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden

There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. - English Proverb

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother. - Beverly Jones

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology. - Ray Romano

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy Fisher

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. - Marion C. Garretty

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed - I never knew they worked. - Les Dawson

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson

My perspective on my mother has changed immensely. She was a lot taller when I was younger. - Howie Mandel

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy - the mother. - Claudette Colbert

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. - Erma Bombeck

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

They want people like your mother down there because they know they ain't got no pre-conscrewed ideas. - Archie Bunker

My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana." - Betty White

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. - Norm Papernick

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months. - Phyllis Diller

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

So long as the mother, ignorance, lives, it is not safe for science, the offspring, to divulge the hidden cause of things. - Johannes Kepler

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


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