Meal Squat

Bacon is meat candy. - Unknown

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

I don't eat sushi, but I eat cooked meat. - Drake Bell

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

The rich take life one financial year at a time. The poor take life one meal at a time. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

O beware, my lord, of jealousy; it is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on. - William Shakespeare

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

A good plate of sushi after an opening helps to soothe that post-opening blues - especially since you feel like raw meat yourself. - Jim Drain

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

Personal columnists are jackals and no jackal has been known to live on grass once he had learned about meat - no matter who killed the meat for him. - Ernest Hemingway