My Daughter and My Money

Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost

Electoral College: Institute of higher yearning - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education. - Theodore Roosevelt

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

College Education: A four-year plan for confusing a young mind methodically. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

College Professor: A man who gets what's left over after the football coach is paid off - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

University: 1. A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand; 2. A mental institution. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen