My First Accident

Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

I'd give that picture a Japanese Academy Reward! - Archie Bunker

An epic is the easiest kind of picture to make badly. - Charlton Heston

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

It's always the small pieces that make the big picture. - Unknown

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I like making things. I don't like getting my picture taken. - Mark Zuckerberg

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

The secret of achievement is to hold a picture of a successful outcome in the mind. - Thoreau

If you could take a selfie of your soul would you find it attractive enough to post? - Unknown

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here." - Steven Wright

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

I never hit a shot, not even in practice, without having a very sharp, in-focus picture of it in my head. - Jack Nicklaus

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

It is terrible to destroy a person's picture of himself in the interests of truth or some other abstraction. - Doris Lessing

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. - Norman Vincent Peale

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright