My Toaster Is Broken

Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

People will travel anywhere for good food. - Rene Redzepi

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

I'm tired of recipes assuming I have a stove. - Kevin Farzad

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Food is our common ground, a universal experience. - James Beard

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity. - Jonathan S Foer

Old statisticians never die, they are just broken down by age and sex. - Unknown

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

Hod: (Southern) Not easy. Usage: 'A broken hot is hod to fix.' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places. - Ernest Hemingway

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. - Warren Buffett

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

Every time your heart is broken, a doorway cracks open to a world full of new opportunities. - Patti Roberts

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

If we're not willing to settle for junk living, we certainly shouldn't settle for junk food. - Sally Edwards

By eating many fruits and vegetables in place of fast food and junk food, people could avoid obesity. - David H Murdock

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

A broken heart is just the growing pains necessary so that you can love more completely when the real thing comes along. - J S B Morse

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

Every time you use the word 'healthy,' you lose. The key is to make yummy, delicious food that happens to be healthy. - Marcus Samuelsson

Is not your voice broken, your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every part about you blasted with antiquity? - William Shakespeare

Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning, and the first thing that I knew
There was milk and toast and honey and a bowl of oranges, too. - Joni Mitchell

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com