#1 humor site on the 'net

My Toaster Is Broken

Home-on-the-range cooking at its best

My Toaster Is Broken thanks to Keith Blake

From Bubba's 'toaster oven recipes' book

My Toaster Is Broken thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

People will travel anywhere for good food. - Rene Redzepi

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

I'm tired of recipes assuming I have a stove. - Kevin Farzad

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Food is our common ground, a universal experience. - James Beard

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity. - Jonathan S Foer

Old statisticians never die, they are just broken down by age and sex. - Unknown

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

Hod: (Southern) Not easy. Usage: 'A broken hot is hod to fix.' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places. - Ernest Hemingway

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. - Warren Buffett

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

Every time your heart is broken, a doorway cracks open to a world full of new opportunities. - Patti Roberts

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

If we're not willing to settle for junk living, we certainly shouldn't settle for junk food. - Sally Edwards

By eating many fruits and vegetables in place of fast food and junk food, people could avoid obesity. - David H Murdock

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

A broken heart is just the growing pains necessary so that you can love more completely when the real thing comes along. - J S B Morse

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

Every time you use the word 'healthy,' you lose. The key is to make yummy, delicious food that happens to be healthy. - Marcus Samuelsson

Is not your voice broken, your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every part about you blasted with antiquity? - William Shakespeare

Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning, and the first thing that I knew
There was milk and toast and honey and a bowl of oranges, too. - Joni Mitchell

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Keyboard Seating

Bent Over

Whatchamacallit Car

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Gone To Market

Peak Bernie

Female IT Experts

Obi-Juan Kenobi

Fuse ReplaceMeant

Student Food Strainer

IBITE

Slide-n-Freeze

Lizard Guitar

Electricity Storage

How To Sharpen Pencils

Chevforodge

Free Stuff

Baby Bird Chorus

Hang On

Home Depot Delivery

Sea Painting

Radish Camouflage

Canadian Twins

Big Birth - They Start Off Big At This Hospital