No-Elephant Building

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

How much does your building weigh? - R Buckminster Fuller

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Great shot kid, that was one in a million. - Han Solo

You can kid the world, but not your sister. - Charlotte Gray

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime. - Red Skelton

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. - Rodney Dangerfield

In an urban environment, a church building is a thing of the past. - Mark Batterson

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. - George Carlin

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

I'm pretty intentional about being highly invested in my kids' lives. - Mark Batterson

I'm like the kid in kindergarten; I really do send valentines to everyone. - Susie Bright

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it. - Dave Chappelle

Well washed and combed domestic pets grow dull; they miss the stimulus of fleas. - Francis Galton

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffett

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult. - Chris Hardwick

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. - George Burns

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new. - Socrates

Apparently, as a kid, I used to eat spiders. Maybe there's some Freudian significance behind that. - Matt Smith

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

I don't think much of a dance step where the girl looks like she was being carried out of a burning building. - Kin Hubbard

God is in the resume-building business. He is always using past experiences to prepare us for future opportunities. - Mark Batterson

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind - the answer is twelve. I think I'm in the wrong building. - Charles Schulz

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever. - Mohamed Al-Fayed

I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves. - Anna Quindlen

Leadership development is not an 'event.' It's a capacity-building endeavor. It's a process of human growth and development. - Linda F Thornton