#1 humor site on the 'net

No Senior Citizens Discounts

Where savings do not apply to the elderly

No Senior Citizens Discounts thanks to Jim Serritella

Why seniors don't shop here

QuotaBills
Old age is life's parody. - Simone de Beauvoir

Old age is the verdict of life. - Amelia E Barr

Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

Old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley

The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. - Oscar Wilde

I defended the republic in my youth; I will not desert it in old age. - Cicero

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Old age at least gives me an excuse for not being very good at things. - Thomas Sowell

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

We look forward to a disorderly, vigorous, unhonored and disreputable old age. - Don Marquis

Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz

Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending. - Anne Bradstreet

W.C. Fields has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled. - Gene Fowler

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Mirror: A truthful reflector shunned by vampires, hypocrites and aging fashion models - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

Autumn is really the best of the seasons; and I'm not sure that old age isn't the best part of life. - C S Lewis

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Not one of them who took up in his youth with his opinion that there are no gods ever continued until old age faithful to his conviction. - Plato


Work Uniforms

Drive-Thru Pharmacy

Childproof House

Mexico Gravestones

Chia Car

Drop Ceiling

Wheelbarrow Parking

Royal Isolation

Transformer Fire - 'Spreading' The Risk

Someone Who Cares

Skateboard Stairs

Pickup For Sale - Come Get It Quick (All Sales Final)

Safe Working Practices?

Foot Swim

Devil Sky

A Man Named Fred

Texas Wheel Mags

Redneck Combo Plumbing

Parking Squeeze

Tree Barking

Elephant Sunset

TP Safety

Locked Up Bull Elk

Duck Crossing