#1 humor site on the 'net

One Slice

Jason started his diet of one pizza slice per day

One Slice thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

When you won't need a take-out bag

QuotaBills
Let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

Once you get rid of integrity the rest is a piece of cake. - Larry Hagman

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between. - David Letterman

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

Roses are red, Pizza sauce is too, I ordered a large, and None of it is for you. - Unknown

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. - P.J. O'Rourke

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel

We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton


Ankle Warning

Peanut Sale

Beer Chess

Astronomy Perspective

Wolf Chase

Coffee Caricature

The Working Man

North of Somewhere

Salmon Bikini

Mexican Phys Ed Classes

Parasite Trivia

Plug Puller

Steamworks Bathroom

Another Repost

Pipeline Protesters

Bread Gloves

Winterpeg Warm

Pen Sale Not

Soda Bottle Boat

Raccoon Rock

Cement Truck Lane

Air Wakanda

Birthday Bonus

Harrison Ford