QuotaBillsParking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen
The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams
Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson
Broom parking only; all others will be toad. - Unknown
Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon
That's all the motorcycle is, a system of concepts worked out in steel. - Robert M. Pirsig
A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan
Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson
If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler
I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby
Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly
If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright