Phones At Six

Dead Ringer: A disconnected telephone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Goat Herder: A person who likes to work with kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying. - Unknown

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? - James Thurber

Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Life is like looking for your phone. Most of the time it's in your hand. - Unknown

Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it. - Dave Chappelle

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

Energy: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

People are prisoners of their phones; that's why it's called a 'cell' phone. - Unknown

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

More people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting. - Stephen Covey

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer