#1 humor site on the 'net

Pizza Cutter

On the cutting edge of food preparation

Pizza Cutter thanks to Keith Blake

A great homemade pizza isn't finished until you pull out this

QuotaBills
Measure twice, cut once. - Craftsman Aphorism

Seasaw: Saw used to cut driftwood - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tomato Paste: Used to fix broken pizza - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

They should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. - Ellen DeGeneres

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

You trust your mother, but you cut the cards. - Unknown

Cut Rates: What surgeons charge their patients. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. - Harrison Ford

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between. - David Letterman

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance. - Al Bernstein

I'm just like anyone. I cut and I bleed and I embarass easily. - Michael Jackson

You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming. - Pablo Neruda

The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open. - Chuck Palahniuk

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

Save a thief from the gallows and he will be the first to cut your throat. - Italian Proverb

The grass may be greener on the other side, but it's just as hard to cut. - Little Richard

Lawyers are like scissors; they never cut each other, but what is between them. - Unknown

Everyone should be paid what he is worth, no matter how big a pay cut is involved. - Unknown

Zero: The number of times you’ve gotten to eat most of the pizza you ordered - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Roses are red, Pizza sauce is too, I ordered a large, and None of it is for you. - Unknown

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks

Confidence is like a dragon where, for every head cut off, two more heads grow back. - Criss Jami

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. - Yogi Berra

After you cut off a person's nose there is no point in giving him a rose to smell. - Ravi Zacharias

Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust. - John Webster

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

Let's be frank, the Italians' technological contribution to humankind stopped with the pizza oven. - Bill Bryson

I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared. - Unknown

Did you hear about the auto worker who was offered a position as president of a bank but couldn't afford the pay cut? - Unknown

I'm not interested in cutting the feet off my characters or stretching them to make them fit my certain political view. - Margaret Atwood

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

I'm always interested in finding the new trend. If you love pizza every day, after 22 years of eating pizza, you want to try sushi. - Jean Pigozzi

The tropical rain forests are a telling example. Once cut down, they rarely recover. Rainfall drops, deserts spread, the climate warms. - James Lovelock

The axe cannot boast of the tree it has cut down. It could do nothing but for the woodsman. He made it, he sharpened it, and he used it. - Samuel Brengel

My daily diet consists of basically anything I think looks tasty, whether that's pizza, sushi, burgers, quesadillas. I like everything. - Cameron Dallas

Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can understand. - Colin Powell


Dragon Playground

Redneck Boat Ramp

Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?

Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy

Air Couch

Europe Road Trip

Thongthing Special

Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance