Please Shake

Post Office: U.S. Snail - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are no office hours for leaders. - Cardinal J Gibbons

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. - Indira Gandhi

Fireplace: An office used for discharging people - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

The violets in the mountains have broken the rocks. - Tennessee Williams

It's so much easier to throw rocks than it is to govern. - Karen Bass

The call of love sounds very hollow among these immobile rocks. - Gustav Mahler

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours. - Arthur Baer

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

He could shake your hand and stab you in the back at the same time. - Richard Nixon

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. - Dorothy Parker

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. - Charles Lamb

Every time I fill a vacant office, I make ten malcontents and one ingrate. - Louis XIV

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

I have to get inspired by something that touches my soul, or rocks my soul. - Steven Tyler

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

How difficult it is to save the bark of reputation from the rocks of ignorance. - Petrarch

The knowledge from an enlightened person breaks on the hard rocks of ignorance. - Mahesh Yogi

Music has charms to sooth a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak. - William Congreve

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

Tavern: 1. Thirst come, thirst served; 2. A place where madness is sold by the bottle. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields

My grandfather is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henny Youngman

God is not a genie in a bottle, and your wish is not His command. His command better be your wish. - Mark Batterson

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not professional anymore. - Jeff Foxworthy

I have far too many skeletons in my closet to think about any sort of serious mention of public office. - David Cone

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got. - WC Fields

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

What politicians want to create is irreversible change because when you leave office someone changes it back again. - Estelle Morris

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison

It wasn't until we got out first office in Palo Alto where things became more like a company. We never went into this wanting to build a company. - Mark Zuckerberg

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah