Please Shake

Post Office: U.S. Snail - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Call on God, but row away from the rocks. - Indian Proverb

Geologists have a saying - rocks remember. - Neil Armstrong

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. - Indira Gandhi

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

It's so much easier to throw rocks than it is to govern. - Karen Bass

You do well to consider the office your own, for you bought it. - Julius Caesar's father

Fools take to themselves the respect that is given to their office. - Aesop

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours. - Arthur Baer

The most important political office is that of the private citizen. - Louis D. Brandeis

A human being's first responsibility is to shake hands with himself. - Henry Winkler

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. - Charles Lamb

If it weren't for the rocks in its bed, the stream would have no song. - Carl Perkins

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

I have to get inspired by something that touches my soul, or rocks my soul. - Steven Tyler

How difficult it is to save the bark of reputation from the rocks of ignorance. - Petrarch

The knowledge from an enlightened person breaks on the hard rocks of ignorance. - Mahesh Yogi

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Music has charms to sooth a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak. - William Congreve

Personally, I'm against political jokes. Too often they get elected to office. - Henny Youngman

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields

My grandfather is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henny Youngman

God is not a genie in a bottle, and your wish is not His command. His command better be your wish. - Mark Batterson

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got. - WC Fields

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says when he's in love, drunk or running for office. - Shirley Maclaine

A quarrel is like buttermilk: once it's out of the churn, the more you shake it, the more sour it grows. - Unknown

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

A boss on vacation is the most cost effective measure. Everybody in the office has a vacation at the cost of one. - Thibaut

The Brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost

The Duchess smashed the bottle against the bow and amid the applause of the crowd she slid on her greasy bottom into the sea. - Unknown

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right. - Mark Twain

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A wise man is cured of ambition by ambition itself; his aim is so exalted that riches, office, fortune and favour cannot satisfy him. - Samuel Johnson

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah