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Progress Bar

And now for advancing news in the liquor industry...

Progress Bar thanks to Keith Blake

Looking for improvements at the neighbourhood pub

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Problems are the price you pay for progress. - Branch Rickey

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

The best road to progress is freedom's road. - John F Kennedy

You're a bartender, y'aint a mortrician. - Archie Bunker

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out. - James Bryant Conant

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar. - WC Fields

All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. - Unknown

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Mahatma Gandhi

The perfecting of one's self is the fundamental base of all progress and all moral development. - Confucius

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

All progress is based upon a universal, innate desire on the part of every living organism to live beyond its income. - Samuel Butler

If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress. - Barack Obama

People who work crossword puzzles know that if they stop making progress, they should put the puzzle down for a while. - Marilyn vos Savant

What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would have burned me. Now they are content with burning my books. - Sigmund Freud

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

He who cannot change the very fabric of his thought will never be able to change reality, and will never, therefore, make any progress. - Anwar Sadat

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster


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