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Redneck Hood Ornament

The car was starting to run a little hot the last few miles

An elderly couple were on their way to Tawas City, Michigan. They stopped at a McDonalds in Augres, just off of US Highway 23. They didn't realize that they had hit a deer! Someone in McDonalds had to tell them...
Redneck Hood Ornament thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Caution: Deer Was On Road

When is it time to turn in one's license?

QuotaBills
Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Deer hunters will do anything for a buck. - Unknown

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Happiness is an accident of nature, a beautiful and flawless aberration. - Pat Conroy

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele

Whether you live in a city or a small town, and whether you drive a car, take the bus or ride a train, at some point in the day, everyone is a pedestrian. - Anthony Foxx

I love the comfort of daily life's routines: things like being able to read a paper on the subway. It's no accident that my favourite word is 'quotidian.' - Elizabeth Strout

Battery Electrolyte Tester: A tool for transferring sulfuric acid from a car battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I love the way music inside a car makes you feel invisible. If you play the stereo at max volume, it's almost like the other people can't see into your vehicle. It tints your windows, somehow. - Chuck Klosterman

Canada should always open its doors to those who are oppressed or in cases of emergency. When Canada offered refuge to 50,000 boat people in Vietnam in the 1970s, I was particularly proud to be Canadian. - David Suzuki

I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing so that menopause and teaching a sixteen-year-old how to drive a car will occur in the same week. - Erma Bombeck

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it. - Ellen Goodman

Graffiti: 1. Wit-and-run literature; 2. Urban scrawl; 3. Rude calligraphy of the streets, apt to embellish any wall, statue, subway car or whino within reach of a spray can; 4. Reassuring evidence that today’s youth retain a passing acquaintance with the written word. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One hundred years from now it will not matter what kind of car I drove, what kind of house I lived in, how much money I had in my bank account, or what my clothes looked like. But one hundred years from now the world may be a little better because I was important in the life of a child. - Unknown


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