Redneck Hood Ornament

Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. - Emily Blunt

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The fabled musk deer searches the world over for the source of the scent which comes from itself. - Ramakrishna

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Whether you live in a city or a small town, and whether you drive a car, take the bus or ride a train, at some point in the day, everyone is a pedestrian. - Anthony Foxx

My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was.
She told me, "In the lake." - Red Skelton

I love the comfort of daily life's routines: things like being able to read a paper on the subway. It's no accident that my favourite word is 'quotidian.' - Elizabeth Strout

I take a lot of pride in the work I do, because people pay to see me. They've got to get babysitters, park their car, get popcorn and candy. I've got to be conscious of that. - Mr. T

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her. - Ellen DeGeneres

I love the way music inside a car makes you feel invisible. If you play the stereo at max volume, it's almost like the other people can't see into your vehicle. It tints your windows, somehow. - Chuck Klosterman

Consider the wheelbarrow. It may lack the grace of an airplane, the speed of an automobile, the initial capacity of a freight car, but its humble wheel marked out the path of what civilization we still have. - Hal Borland

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds "amazing". - Steven Wright

Every kid has a toy that they believe is their best friend, that they believe communicates with them, and they imagine it being alive, their toy horse or car or whatever it is. Stop-motion is the only medium where we literally can make a toy come to life, an actual object. - Henry Selick

Al Gore, the former vice-president of the United States, lives in a mansion that uses more electricity than the average family's bungalow! David Suzuki rides on a bus that uses more fuel than a Smart car to get across Canada! And this is just the tip of the vanishing iceberg! - Linwood Barclay