#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Power Windows

Bubba's portable window workmate

Redneck Power Windows thanks to Mike King

Trying to find the cheapest local auto body repair shop

QuotaBills
Window Shopping: Eye browsing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Set wide the window. Let me drink the day. - Edith Wharton

It only rains straight down. God doesn't do windows. - Steven Wright

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows. - Sydney J. Harris

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

If a window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade. - Tom Peters

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. - Ogden Nash

Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before. - Mignon McLaughlin

Window: 1. A looking-out glass; 2. Place in the truck to hang your guns. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning. - Rodney Dangerfield

Guarantee: A legal vehicle which expires on the same day as your mechanical one - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

I stuck my head out the window this morning and spring kissed my bang in the face. - Langston Hughes

The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen

Moving doesn't change who you are. It only changes the view outside your window. - Rachel Hollis

You have to look for teachers. If you want to be a mechanic, go hang out with mechanics. - Robert Kiyosaki

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

A habit cannot be tossed out the window. It must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time. - Mark Twain

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. - Ani DiFranco

Window Screen: 1. A device to prevent the escape of insects; 2. A device for keeping flies in the house. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard

It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being. - John S Mill

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. - R. Buckminster Fuller

Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in. - Alan Alda

The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin

We do not need to attend classroom training programs for everything. Observation opens the windows of knowledge around us. - Sukant Ratnakar

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night with no lights while looking out the back window. - Peter F Drucker

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. - Dale Carnegie

It was any outcast's nightmare. If I looked carefully, I suspected I might find it beneath the black paint of the small acrylic by the window. - Nancy Werlin

Art is the window to man's soul. Without it, he would never be able to see beyond his immediate world; nor could the world see the man within. - Claudia Johnson


Duck That Did Not Duck

Chewie, We're Home

Introducing the iPhone 20

Meateor

Ancient Shiloh

British Accountant

Ruling On Criticism

Going Into Space

Domino's Delivers Everywhere

Lord of the Wings

Crossed Wires

Monday Lisa

Pets Come First

If You Need Space

Economy Flight

Redneck Hailstone Damage

Wet Tents

Redneck Flu Shot

Japanese Diving Platform

All Mine

Cat Swimming at the Olympics

Yoga Food

Paint Room

Beer Cheers