#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler

For some reason the plants grow better with moonshine

Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler thanks to Mike King

Bubba waters the garden with his favorite soda bottle

QuotaBills
RIP boiling water - you will be mist. - Unknown

Comedy is like catching lightning in a bottle. - Goldie Hawn

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

The conscious water saw its Master and blushed. - Alexander Pope

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

A mixture of brandy and water spoils two good things. - Charles Lamb

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle


Kids Meal

Stretch Exercises You Can Do At Your Desk

A Foot Of Sun

Sushi Spine

Police Targeting

Happy Bird's Eye UU

Moose Parking

Glassman

Paint Pants

World Cup Attention Getter

Fear Of Light

Bird Condo

Very Cold Beer

Seniors Bike Club

Watching The World Cup

Friendly BBQ Reminder

Geek Piano

Ugly Haircut

XL Safety Shoes

Dance With Me

Secret Exit

Drawing A Fine Line

Fastest Land Mammal

First Driving Lesson