Redneck Shower Head

Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Up there in his ivory shower - Archie Bunker

And isn't he as slow as a wet week! - Unknown

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

I don't sing in the shower. I perform. - Unknown

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet. - Bob Marley

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet. - Roger Miller

Like water, we are truest to our nature in repose. - Cyril Connolly

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

Maybe she's a spaghetti girl... straight until wet. - Jodi Lerner

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Yachting: standing in a cold shower tearing up hundred-dollar bills. - Unknown

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there. - Zig Ziglar

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown