Redneck Shower Head

RIP boiling water - you will be mist. - Unknown

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone. - Alan Watts

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet. - Roger Miller

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

A mixture of brandy and water spoils two good things. - Charles Lamb

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - English Proverb

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

Lines of gulls standing on glassy blue patches of wet sand. - Cathleen Schine

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill-bucket. - George Orwell

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

Yachting: standing in a cold shower tearing up hundred-dollar bills. - Unknown

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

You can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he'll die. - Rose

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun that is funny. - Dr. Seuss

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use one more club or two more balls. - Unknown

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera. - Unknown

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light; you'll go broke. - Chuck Jones

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson