Redneck Shower Head

Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Up there in his ivory shower - Archie Bunker

The water doesn't know how old you are. - Dara Torres

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet. - Bob Marley

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light; you'll go broke. - Chuck Jones

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown