#1 humor site on the 'net

Reducing Soap

How to reduce double chins and superfluous body fat

Reducing Soap thanks to Howard Chapman

New discovery acts like magic

QuotaBills
Age is only a number. - Lexi Starling

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

People will travel anywhere for good food. - Rene Redzepi

People do not become more valuable with age. - Sam Levenson

You don't need a silver fork to eat good food. - Paul Prudhomme

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Maybe I oughta get one of them priests in to exercise with her. - Archie Bunker

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun, and fun is a lot more work. - Milton Berle

The enemy of society is middle class and the enemy of life is middle age. - Orson Welles

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

To be wholly devoted to some intellectual exercise is to have succeeded in life. - Robert Louis Stevenson

This is the machine age. The only thing people do by hand is scratch themselves. - Joe Laurie

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

One minute gives intention to destroy
What to rebuild will a whole age employ. - William Congreve

What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy. - Voltaire

Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. - Tom Wilson

Life, if you're fat, is a minefield - you have to pick your way, otherwise you blow up. - Miriam Margolyes

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo

Middle age is when a guy keeps turning off the lights for economical rather than romantic reasons. - Lillian Carter

Mid-life crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about the same age. - William D Tammeus

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I go on a diet and work out, I'm always in a bad mood. I'd rather be a little heavier but nice. - Salma Hayek

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

When you're my age, you just never risk being ill - because then everyone says, "Oh, he's done for." - John Gielgud

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

Middle age is when you're faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home by nine o'clock. - Ronald Reagan

Admiration of the proletariat, like that of dams, power stations, and aeroplanes, is part of the ideology of the machine age. - Bertrand Russell

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. - Salvador Dali

Not one of them who took up in his youth with his opinion that there are no gods ever continued until old age faithful to his conviction. - Plato

My daily diet consists of basically anything I think looks tasty, whether that's pizza, sushi, burgers, quesadillas. I like everything. - Cameron Dallas

A man should not live beyond the age when he begins to deteriorate, when the flame that lighted the brightest moment of his life has weakened. - Fidel Castro

I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo


Idling Eric Idle

Glass World - Where Plumbers Buy

High Heel Diver

Rising To The Occasion

Annual Meeting of the Ontario Summer Tires Club

I See You

Get Off Your High Horse

Redneck Towing

Revenge of the Stallion

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Rat Cut

Spot the Hidden Barred Owl

Smoking Hot Body

Billy the Eagle Owl

Star Wars Fisherman

The Devil's Swimming Pool

Pet Dentist

Nuts And Fruitcakes

Spiral Staircase

Scubaru

Nordern Minnesota Yeneral Store

Pigeon Drink

Epic Turban

Healthy Breakfast