#1 humor site on the 'net

Resume Bar

Credentials that will satisfy any organization's appetite

Resume Bar thanks to Keith Blake

Experienced marketing professionals - bar none

QuotaBills
Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

People will travel anywhere for good food. - Rene Redzepi

You are not your resume, you are your work. - Seth Godin

Food is the most primitive form of comfort. - Sheila Graham

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

Chocolate is more than a food, but less than a drug. - R J Huxtable

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler

If you call failures experiments, you can put them in your resume and claim them as achievements. - Mason Cooley

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


Clorox Respirator

Our Aim

Truck Rest Stop

Romaine Empire

Hardworking Wife

What's That?

Long, Happy Marriage

Redneck iPad

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Microsoft Innovation

Mop Dog

Ventilated Bridge

Monkeying Around

Wing Support

Massage Therapist

Paper Wedding Dress

High Rise TV

Redneck Kickstand

Mary Potter

Jarred Cat

Frog Waltz

SinkHole Pickup

Always Use Your Mirrors

Johnny On The Pot's Plumber Truck