#1 humor site on the 'net

Road Totals

A road rage driver's running tally

Road Totals thanks to Keith Blake

Steer clear of this guy

QuotaBills
There is no royal road to geometry. - Euclid

The journey not the arrival matters. - T S Eliot

A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

The road to success is always under construction. - Lily Tomlin

Many will travel and knowledge will be increased. - Francis Bacon

He who does not travel does not know the value of men. - Moorish Proverb

Skepticism is the first step on the road to philosophy. - Denis Diderot

You often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it. - French Proverb

History is the sum total of things that could have been avoided. - Konrad Adenauer

A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it. - Jean de La Fontaine

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving. - Lao-tzu

To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries. - Aldous Huxley

He who is outside his door has the hardest part of his journey behind him. - Flemish Proverb

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

Whoever established the high road, and how high it should be, should be fired. - Sandra Bullock

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

If you look like your passport photo, then in all probability you need the journey. - Earl Wilson

Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely lengthens the conversation. - Elizabeth Drew

We're all pilgrims on the same journey, but some pilgrims have better road maps. - Nelson DeMille

Our deeds still travel with us from afar, and what we have been makes us what we are. - George Eliot

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over. - Ambrose Bierce

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

Why endeavor to straighten the road of life? The faster we travel, the less there is to see. - Helen Hayes

Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us. - Samuel Smiles

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train. - Oscar Wilde

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk. - Ayn Rand

Better to be on a seemingly endless journey seeking truth, than to be comfortable and stagnant with deception. - Starr De Luna

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road. - Henry Ward Beecher

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow. - Lin Yutang

Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life. - Jack Kerouac

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent. - Buddha

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin


Challenge Accepted

Subway Camouflage

In Stitches

Great White

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Can I Lick It

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Velociraptor Defined

Redneck Muffler Repair

Drama Queen Diary

He Looks Just Like His Father!

Happy Snow Car

Sand Strap Experience

Redneck Calf Feeder

BaCoN T-Shirt

Go Winterized

Car Igloo

Hen Pecked

It's Movie Time

In The Dog House

Diaper Change

Palestinian Security Check

Wurst-Case Scenario

High-Rise Inifinity Pool