#1 humor site on the 'net

Road Totals

A road rage driver's running tally

Road Totals thanks to Keith Blake

Steer clear of this guy

QuotaBills
The journey is the reward. - Tao Saying

The journey not the arrival matters. - T S Eliot

People will travel anywhere for good food. - Rene Redzepi

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. - Lao Tzu

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. - Steven Wright

It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness. - Seneca

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road, turn back. - Turkish Proverb

History is the sum total of things that could have been avoided. - Konrad Adenauer

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. - Will Rogers

A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it. - Jean de La Fontaine

Wisdom is knowing which road is the right one; integrity is taking it. - Unknown

Our achievements today are but the sum total of our thoughts of yesterday. - Blaise Pascal

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley

If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one. - Dolly Parton

My life is full of mistakes. They're like pebbles that make a good road. - Beatrice Wood

Whoever established the high road, and how high it should be, should be fired. - Sandra Bullock

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

Change comes more from managing the journey than from announcing the destination. - William Bridges

The dreams I chased took me on a journey. A journey more rewarding than the goals. - Shahrukh Khan

Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely lengthens the conversation. - Elizabeth Drew

Our deeds still travel with us from afar, and what we have been makes us what we are. - George Eliot

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

How to stop time: kiss.
How to travel in time: read.
How to escape time: music. - Unknown

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

Bad dinners go hand in hand with total depravity, while a well-fed man is already half saved. - Helen Woodward

Wandering re-establishes the original harmony which once existed between man and the universe. - Anatole France

"Officer, I know I was going faster than 55 MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour." - Steven Wright

A great accomplishment shouldn't be the end of the road, just the starting point for the next leap forward. - Harvey Mackay

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

To read a writer is for me not merely to get an idea of what he says, but to go off with him and travel in his company. - Andre Gide

Oh my. Space travel sounds rather perilous. I can assure you they will never get me on one of those dreadful Star Ships. - C-3PO

To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: "Leave no stone unturned." - Edward Bulwer Lytton

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one else can take for us or spare us. - Marcel Proust

Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision. - Unknown

Our minds are as different as our faces: we are all traveling to one destination; happiness; but few are going by the same road. - Charles Caleb Colton

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost. - H Jackson Brown, Jr.


Mouth Candy

Cleanup

Baby Shower

Business Hours

Back Massage Track

Beach Bum

Chicken Photobomb

Italian Electronic Humour

Tipsy Redneck

When You Roll A Tesla

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

House Maid For Men

Nintendo Auto Correct

Yoga Pants

Do Not Read Law

One Thousand Words

Single Men For Long-Term Commitment

Porsche Bird Droppings

Accordion Lessons

I Before E

Male Multitasker

Redneck Bird Feeder

Who Lost The Keys?

Teaching Hotle