Rock Solid Car

Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

Call on God, but row away from the rocks. - Indian Proverb

Geologists have a saying - rocks remember. - Neil Armstrong

Rock and roll is the hamburger that ate the world. - Peter York

It's so much easier to throw rocks than it is to govern. - Karen Bass

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Elvis may have been the king of rock 'n roll, but I am the queen. - Little Richard

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

The knowledge from an enlightened person breaks on the hard rocks of ignorance. - Mahesh Yogi

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

Music has charms to sooth a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak. - William Congreve

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

The person that turns over the most rocks wins the game. And that's always been my philosophy. - Peter Lynch

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Idealism is like a castle in the air if it is not based on a solid foundation of social and political realism. - Claude McKay

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright