Roof Ride

Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa. - Groucho Marx

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly under-polluted. - Lawrence Summers

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

I dream of the realization of the unity of Africa, whereby its leaders combine in their efforts to solve the problems of this continent. - Nelson Mandela

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright