Room For Two

A fat purse never lacks friends. - Unknown

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

True friends stab you in the front. - Oscar Wilde

Stoic: De boid what brings de babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Have no friends not equal to yourself. - Confucius

Friends don't let friends use Comic Sans. - Unknown

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. - Thomas Jones

Spying between friends - that's just not done. - Angela Merkel

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends. - George Bernard Shaw

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away. - Wilson Mizner

If you want an accounting of your worth, count your friends. - Merry Browne

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway. - Greg Tamblyn

Instead of loving your enemies treat your friends a little better. - Ed Howe

Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism. - Ed Howe

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

Tweeting is like sending out cool telegrams to your friends once a week. - Tom Hanks

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget. - Unknown

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light. - Jennie Jerome Churchill

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in the worth and choice. - Ben Jonson

Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe it anyway. - Elbert Hubbard

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Tart words make no friends: A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. - Benjamin Franklin

Lately all my friends are worried they're turning into their fathers. I'm worried I'm not. - Dan Zevin

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles. What do we live for if not to make the world less difficult for each other? - George Eliot

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen