Royal Knit Wit

No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

Wit is educated insolence. - Aristotle

Brevity is the soul of wit. - William Shakespeare

Silence is the wit of fools. - Anatole France

Impropriety is the soul of wit. - W Somerset Maugham

Wit is the lowest form of humor. - Alexander Pope

Wit is the epitaph of an emotion. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When the age is in, the wit is out. - William Shakespeare

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

The well of true wit is truth itself. - George Meredith

Wit is an explosion of the compound spirit. - Karl W.F. Schlegel

Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce

He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W Somerset Maugham

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. - Mark Twain

The monarchical institution in England is immensely valuable. - Malcolm Muggeridge

What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

I will resist the urge to underestimate the complexity of knitting. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

Wit is a sword; it is meant to make people feel the point as well as see it. - G K Chesterton

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge. - George Herbert

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

I will continue to freak out my children by knitting in public. It's good for them. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

SABLE - A common knitting acronym that stands for Stash Acquisition Beyond Life Expectancy. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England. - Samuel Johnson

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income. - George Bernard Shaw

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. - Ambrose Bierce

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

In America, the policeman is a working-class hero. In England, the policeman is a working-class traitor. - Martin Amis

Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?'
Contestant: 'Hamlet'. - Larry Gogan

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

The man who sees the consistency in things is a wit; the man who sees the inconsistency in things is a humorist. - G K Chesterton

If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

I think what's going on with gorillas is pretty bad. The fact is that you can buy gorilla meat in London any day you want it. - Adam Ant

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin