QuotaBillsNo man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley
Wit is educated insolence. - Aristotle
Brevity is the soul of wit. - William Shakespeare
Silence is the wit of fools. - Anatole France
Impropriety is the soul of wit. - W Somerset Maugham
Wit is the lowest form of humor. - Alexander Pope
Wit is the epitaph of an emotion. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
When the age is in, the wit is out. - William Shakespeare
When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb
The well of true wit is truth itself. - George Meredith
Wit is an explosion of the compound spirit. - Karl W.F. Schlegel
Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce
He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge
The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese
He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W Somerset Maugham
This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. - Mark Twain
The monarchical institution in England is immensely valuable. - Malcolm Muggeridge
What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies
If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon
Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith
If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed
There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown
I will resist the urge to underestimate the complexity of knitting. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill
Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan
The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde
England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet
Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns
The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison
I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best
Wit is a sword; it is meant to make people feel the point as well as see it. - G K Chesterton
There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov
The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy
In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge. - George Herbert
The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker
On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes
I will continue to freak out my children by knitting in public. It's good for them. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx
The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor
SABLE - A common knitting acronym that stands for Stash Acquisition Beyond Life Expectancy. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England. - Samuel Johnson
The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard
A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income. - George Bernard Shaw
Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown
Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. - Ambrose Bierce
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain
The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde
In America, the policeman is a working-class hero. In England, the policeman is a working-class traitor. - Martin Amis
Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?'
Contestant: 'Hamlet'. - Larry Gogan
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
The man who sees the consistency in things is a wit; the man who sees the inconsistency in things is a humorist. - G K Chesterton
If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James
If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell
No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde
There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett
Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt
Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin
'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis
The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan
I think what's going on with gorillas is pretty bad. The fact is that you can buy gorilla meat in London any day you want it. - Adam Ant
Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft
Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin