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A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland