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Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

Well, at least he has found his true love - what a pity he can't marry himself. - Frank Sinatra

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland