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Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

Today couples live together until they learn to detest one another. Then they get married. - G K Chesterton

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland