#1 humor site on the 'net

Safe Food

Ordering interesting Thai food combos

Safe Food thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Better safe than sorry with tainted prophylactic food

QuotaBills
Spoils Of War: Army food - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is too short to skip cake. - Unknown

Afternoon Snack: The pause that refleshes. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Food is the most primitive form of comfort. - Sheila Graham

Cake is the answer, no matter the question. - Unknown

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

If I have one addiction in life, it's probably food. - Liam Hemsworth

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity. - Jonathan S Foer

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Grocerise: To sell off non-perishable food articles through eBeh channels - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

If we're not willing to settle for junk living, we certainly shouldn't settle for junk food. - Sally Edwards

By eating many fruits and vegetables in place of fast food and junk food, people could avoid obesity. - David H Murdock

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it; that surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die. - William Shakespeare

Malenutrition: The practice of depriving a man from food for more than a couple of hours - or during a football game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it is also more nourishing. - H L Mencken

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup. - H L Mencken

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Every time you use the word 'healthy,' you lose. The key is to make yummy, delicious food that happens to be healthy. - Marcus Samuelsson

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Dragon Playground

Redneck Boat Ramp

Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?

Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy

Air Couch

Europe Road Trip

Thongthing Special

Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance