#1 humor site on the 'net

Safe Food

Ordering interesting Thai food combos

Safe Food thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Better safe than sorry with tainted prophylactic food

QuotaBills
The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Food is our common ground, a universal experience. - James Beard

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Irish Proverb

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

If I have one addiction in life, it's probably food. - Liam Hemsworth

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Unknown

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

People want honest, flavourful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare. - Ted Allen

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

Malenutrition: The practice of depriving a man from food for more than a couple of hours - or during a football game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

Every time you use the word 'healthy,' you lose. The key is to make yummy, delicious food that happens to be healthy. - Marcus Samuelsson

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Don't Want Your Child To Text And Drive?

Redneck Porch Lights

Party Frog

Cloud Computing

Mobile Phones

Hair Safety

Ice Cream Clouds

Software Cake

Rolo Mask

HoverCraft

Unspoken Signs

Ice Cone Cat

Nutcracker Suite - Chinese Version

Cell Phone Book

Pointless

Shark Steaks

Alligator Mating

Gun Exhaust

Chinese Cooking

Canadian Trap

Meal Squat

Tear-Paper Wall

Pupcakes

Restroom Signs