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Santa For Kids

Christmas clothing for illiterate children

Santa For Kids thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Adding a kid clause for Santa Clause

QuotaBills
Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

Eat: What kids do between meals, but not at them - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. - Bob Talbert

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler

Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. - Maya Angelou

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Pride causes us to use our gifts as though they came from ourselves, not benefits received from God, and to usurp our benefactor's glory. - Bernard of Clairvaux

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah


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