#1 humor site on the 'net

Scubaru

The new amphibious model

Scubaru thanks to Keith Blake

Car sales took a nose dive this winter

QuotaBills
Ice Cream: What I do when scared - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Room service - don't send up any more ice. - WC Fields

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Traffic Ticket: Finale of the policeman's bawl - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos. - Don Kardong

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown

Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs. - Bill Murray

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Chubby Free

Pirrows

Young Rock Star

Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend

Mars Images

Drumset Motorcycle