Senior Beer Drinker's Bar

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle