Slum Penthouse

Home is wherever I'm with you. - Edward Sharpe

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

I had to sink my yacht to make the guests go home. - F Scott Fitzgerald

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? - Phyllis Diller

There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort. - Jane Austen

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. - Unknown

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. - Robert Orben

When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying

Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in. - Robert Frost

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby

Strength of character may be learned at work, but beauty of character is learned at home. - Henry Drummond

Maybe I'd like to run around the house in my drawers, and with her here, I felt inhabited. - Archie Bunker

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

She did not know where her home was anymore, and this idea didn’t frighten her like it should. - T.M. Williams

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. - Erma Bombeck

The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. - Maya Angelou

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is not more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules Poincare

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright