#1 humor site on the 'net

Smooth Peanut Butter

If you didn't have peanut allergies before, you will now

Smooth Peanut Butter thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Where peanuts take a rest

QuotaBills
Asphalt: Rectum trouble. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stop and smell the roses. - Phoebe Moll

His impromptus smell of the lamp. - Pytheas

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

Jiffy: One metric ton of peanut butter - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love your enemy - it'll drive him nuts. - Unknown

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell. - Alec Yuill-Thornton

The best smell in the world is that man that you love. - Jennifer Aniston

Men cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. - James A Garfield

Music can be made anywhere, is invisible and does not smell. - W H Auden

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Doughnuts: 1. Rolling Scones; 2. The only nuts with holes in them. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. - Charlie Brown

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Make a tamale with peanut butter and jelly. Go ahead! Somebody will eat it. - Bobby Flay

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell. - Robert Byrne

Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9. - Muppets

After you cut off a person's nose there is no point in giving him a rose to smell. - Ravi Zacharias

Cashews: The nuts you should hold out for if you're currently working for peanuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet. - William Shakespeare

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Smell is a long-distance sense, a way of stretching time and finding out in advance what lies ahead. - Lyall Watson

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

Two things are important for missionaries: (1) they have a sense of humour; and (2) the have no sense of smell. - Phil Callaway

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup. - H L Mencken

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


Open Drive Through

Secret Revealed

Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing

Overflow Truck Garden

Beach Sign Training

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox

Pre-Dinner Photography

Curses, Foiled Again

Ant Virus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Bird's Eye View

Sea Girl