Smooth Peanut Butter

Asphalt: Rectum trouble. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stop and smell the roses. - Phoebe Moll

His impromptus smell of the lamp. - Pytheas

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

Jiffy: One metric ton of peanut butter - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love your enemy - it'll drive him nuts. - Unknown

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell. - Alec Yuill-Thornton

The best smell in the world is that man that you love. - Jennifer Aniston

Men cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. - James A Garfield

Music can be made anywhere, is invisible and does not smell. - W H Auden

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Doughnuts: 1. Rolling Scones; 2. The only nuts with holes in them. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. - Charlie Brown

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Make a tamale with peanut butter and jelly. Go ahead! Somebody will eat it. - Bobby Flay

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell. - Robert Byrne

Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9. - Muppets

After you cut off a person's nose there is no point in giving him a rose to smell. - Ravi Zacharias

Cashews: The nuts you should hold out for if you're currently working for peanuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet. - William Shakespeare

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Smell is a long-distance sense, a way of stretching time and finding out in advance what lies ahead. - Lyall Watson

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

Two things are important for missionaries: (1) they have a sense of humour; and (2) the have no sense of smell. - Phil Callaway

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup. - H L Mencken

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi